Dear Nancy, What Are Tips For Organic Dating?

I know you’re an advocate for online dating, but it just isn’t me. I have absolutely no desire to even try. My question to you, since you are a relationship expert, is what are some tips for organic dating? I’m very involved in politics these days – isn’t everybody? Since I attend a lot of fundraisers, I’m thinking they might be a great place to start. Your thoughts?

  • Patty – 53 – West Chester

Dear Patty,

I understand, completely. Although I do advocate online dating, I also help clients date organically, and many actually do end up meeting their soulmate while out shopping, through mutual friends, and yes, even fundraisers. Below are some tips that should help.

Tip 1: Get yourself a business card, even if you don’t work. It is the quintessential tool for women who wish to date organically. Believe it or not, “calling cards” as they were called back when, were popular in the 1800’s in France. Since then, women, usually of high social status, have been using them, from Paris and London to New York and Boston as a means of letting men know they are interested and know how to contact them. If you meet a man you like, introduce yourself, give him your card, and ask for one in return. As my clients will tell you, if he is interested and available, he will certainly contact you.

Tip 2: Always be prepared. Whenever you walk out the door, make sure you look put-together. New statistics reveal that 7% of couples in the US met at Whole Foods. While Whole Foods may not be your favorite place to shop, the statistic does make the point that men and women are more likely to meet each other in places that offer a fun, like-minded, lively atmosphere. Other places that have been known to be great places to meet are: bookstores, gyms, bars, sporting events, business networking events, weddings, fundraisers, your kids’ school and sporting events, and college and high school reunions.

Tip 3: Don’t be shy. Everyone seems to be waiting for someone else to make the first move, but waiting for someone else won’t get you anywhere. Do yourself a favor and put aside your fears. If you see someone interesting, go up and say hi. Just start up a conversation by asking a simple open-ended question, like “Isn’t this a great _______(bookstore, sporting event, etc)?” Then give him a sincere compliment and give him your business card. Even if he is married, unavailable, or isn’t interested in dating you, he will probably appreciate getting a compliment from you.

Good luck!