Dear Nancy, I’m not asking for the perfect woman, I’m just looking for a normal, happy person.

Some of my friends have had great success at online dating, but I must be doing something wrong because all of the women I date seem to be on anxiety medication and seem very angry. I’m not asking for the perfect woman, I’m just looking for a normal, happy person. What could I be doing differently?

  • Sam – 36 –West Chester

Dear Sam,

I completely understand how frustrated you must be, but I guarantee you there are lots of normal, happy women out there using online dating. As I always remind my clients, when they start feeling there aren’t any potential matches online, it’s time to examine your process and see what you can do better or differently.

First, make sure that your profile pictures and writing are very professional. Unfortunately, too often times, we focus on the pictures and ignore the writing section, which is key to finding an appropriate partner for you. Take the time to reread your profile and add more about your healthy attitude, lifestyle, and values.

Second, search for women who have more than 5 pictures, all which portray your same values and interests. Just two pictures will not usually give you enough information for you to surmise if she leads a happy, normal life. Moreover, write to women whose pictures show her being active, such as hiking, skiing, kayaking, etc, rather than pictures where she is drinking a lot.

Third, search for women who have written a substantive profile rather than two quick sentences. Remember the more someone writes, the more they reveal about themselves. It is in the details that we most learn about people.

I do advise your first dates be quick, so you don’t waste your time, money and energy on women whom you don’t wish to go out with again. Just plan to meet for one drink and if you do feel a spark, make the next date an active event, such as miniature golf, leisurely bike ride, or a game of tennis.  I believe you will find that if you change your dating process, you will see different results.

Good luck!