Dear Nancy, My wife is skipping out

My wife and I just got married three months ago. Everything is fine, except for the fact she now keeps making excuses why she can’t make it to church on Sundays with me. I like to bring my children along on the weekends they stay with me, and I don’t think it sends a very good message to the kids when she keeps skipping out. We knew each other for about one year before getting married, and all that time she came with me to my church. What do you make of this sudden change?

  • Teddy – 49 –West Chester

Dear Teddy,

First, congratulations! It is lovely to hear that everything is fine except for this one issue. It does seem odd that after a year of going with you to church she suddenly stopped after getting married. However, rather than make any assumption, which is never a good idea, I recommend you talk to her directly and find out the answer.

Religion is such a personal subject; it warrants extra sensitivity when bringing it up. Rather than talking at her, I propose you gently ask her why she isn’t making church a priority and if there is anything you could do to make it more palatable. I’ve known many clients who have felt overwhelmed by all the expectations of being a new wife that they found it difficult to fit everything into their new married life.

The most important key to a healthy marriage and all relationships is good communication with all parties. Thus, always remember to ask and listen whenever behavior raises questions, and leave all assumptions aside.